this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize