Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm always down for nudity.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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