I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
