come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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