ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
