But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
