Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
