i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
