PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
