He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
