wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Everything about him screamed your future.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
