Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
