Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
pray to the hookup gods
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
