Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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