can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize