Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
