woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Acid is not a monday night drug
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
