What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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