omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
