Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
