i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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