he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
