Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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