are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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