just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
