We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
