She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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