she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
