im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
