haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
