did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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