he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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