Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
