these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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