Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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