He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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