VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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