I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
