the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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