coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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