Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
