The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Randomize
