i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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