we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
