How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
