So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
