Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
