My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
how drunk are you?
Several
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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