I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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