sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
