Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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