Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
