We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
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Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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