She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
