He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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