Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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