there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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