in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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