Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
